The Best Mental health development in Coulsdon

“The beauty of the Grief Recovery Method is that it gives you tools & a structure to use again with whatever is causing you 'grief', be it death, relationships, loss of jobs, health or situation. There's a time frame too, so you know it’s not going to drag on and on with no end in sight, but like all these things you only get out of it what you put in. But with a Grief Recovery Specialist like Joan I knew I was in safe and understanding hands. By sharing her story with me a trust was built that made me feel safe in sharing mine with her. Without her I wouldn't feel at peace with the past as I do now and able to face the future, whatever it brings. For many years I’ve been carrying around grief without realising it; it was only going through this process with Joan that I came to understand the full extent of it. I was introduced to The Grief Recovery Method ostensibly to get over the loss of my one-in-a-million horse, Sparkie, who had died many years ago. I had no concept at the beginning that the method would identify a much bigger issue that I was unaware of, but also give me the tools and the confidence to be able to deal with it. Joan was so understanding and led me gently through the process, supporting me with the ‘relationship-loss’ of Sparkie, so I understood how it all worked, before encouraging me to take on the huge event that had shaped the last 40yrs of my life. She acknowledged that it was going to be a big piece of work for me, but was there at the end of the phone whenever I needed guidance and help to make sure I was on the right track and never made me feel silly or inadequate. The ‘structure’ of the process helped to me to connect with all of the elements of my past that had led to the present day, without judgement or exhaustive dissection. The discussion was more with myself and that gave me carte-blanch to say exactly what was in my heart. I didn't have to sanitize anything, I didn't have to justify my thoughts and feelings, I just had to be completely honest with myself. The only person who heard these thoughts was Joan and she held them safe for me. There was no picking over and examining, just acceptance. To give some context here’s my story … In 1980 I fell 20' during some training in a gym which resulted in a spinal cord injury causing paralysis from my hips down. I was seventeen. I learnt to live with not being able to walk again and having to use a wheelchair all the time, as well as having to manage my personal care in a very different way, and I focused on all the positives I could find; I was still able to drive, work, go on holiday, ride horses, have children ... all be it not as before. However, nothing ever stays the same and the things I initially took for granted have changed over the last 40yrs. My independence is now being stripped away as I get older and things wear out, and my dependence on others seems to be increasing with every year. This bereavement, this loss of the physical me and my independence, has taken a long time for me to acknowledge. I thought I'd dealt with it in my own little way back in the early 80's. I thought I'd come out the other side and was able to get on with my life. I understood what had happened to me back then so why, after all these years, did I find myself in tears and an emotional wreck whenever something else befell me. Because I hadn't dealt with what was underlying it all and allowed myself to acknowledge and grieve properly for what was lost all those years ago. Now, thanks to Joan, I finally feel I’ve been able to do that.”

“I'd been really struggling with a number of issues before I saw Beverley for counselling. She helped me through the tough time, giving me a new way of thinking and the tools to keep me moving forwards. It was a real life changer.”