Access Academy 6318 South Corbett Avenue, Portland, OR 97239

"good school, there a lot of stupid (cool) people there but there are a few issues i have including the lead water, as i have stage 3 lead poisoning. very low funding. the teachers are nice but have a very low paycheck and often have to pay for supplies with their own dough, their cheddar, their cash, their bucks, their moolah, their dollars, and all because of the evil PPS corporation"

"A place where my learning needs were finally met, and I actually made some good friends. I will never forget my time here, and really wish this oppurtunity was available to more people, and earlier. (The funding situation is bad though)"

"The world we live in. It's so... Wondrous. Mysterious. Even magical. No... No no no.. Not that world. I meant this one. The smartphone. Each system and program app is it's own little planet of perfect. Technology. All providing services so necessary, so crucial, so unbelievably profound. Look who just sent me a text! Addie McCallister? It must be a mistake. Or a joke. Or a scam! Don't send her your social security number. She's right there! That's our user, Alex. And, like every freshman in high school, his whole life, everything, revolves around his phone. And, because the pace of life gets, faster and faster... Phones down in five. And attention spans get shorter and shorter... And... You're probably not even listening to me right now. Who has the time to type out actual words? And that's where we come in. The most important invention in the history of communication! Emojis. That's my home! Textopolis. Here, each of us does one thing, and we have to nail it every time. Christmas tree just has to stand there, all festive. Merry christmas! It's still september, Tim! And princesses... I am so pretty. They just gotta wear their crowns and keep their hair comb. We are so pretty. Devil, Poop, Thumbs Up, they just show up and they're good to go. But for the faces, the pressure is on. Cryer always has to cry, even if he just won the lottery. Hurray, i'm a millionaire! Laugher's always laughing, even if he's just broken his arm. Ahh!! Ah! I can see the bone!! Ah ah ah ah ah... And me, i'm a meh. So I gotta totally be over it all the time, you know? Like meh, who cares. Which is not as easy as it sounds. I gotta be mehhhhhhhhh I GOTTA! Be! Mehhhhhhhhh. Morning, Mrs. D, I see you have the little minis with ya! Oh, they're so... Cute! NYAH, SO ADORABLE, I CAN'T TAKE IT! I WILL NEVER GET THEM TO SLEEP! STICK TO YOUR ONE FACE, WEIRDO. OLE! OLE! OH NO! OH NO! It's hard to only act blasé. When, living in Textopolis is.... Just so exciting! Hello, good simians! Those are some sharp attaches! Yes, well we have business to attend to. What kind of business? Monkey business. Ha ha ha ha, I sounded british. Meh... Oh, that was really good.. Meh? Meh... Meh ha ha... What the freak ya doing there, mate? Practicing. Today is my first day on the phone. Oh, droit. I'm gonna be so.. Meh. What are you going to do? Blah! Me and the boys are gonna throw ourselves on the barbie! Woo! Puh-zow! Gooday, mate! Hey, konichiwa! Sorry emoticons!! Oh, I hate knocking over the elderly.. Let me help, let me help... Oh, my colon!!! Ducks... Hey, is that the time? HEY, my eyes are up here, pal! Woo ooh hoo! Woo hoo! Right on time! And last week, Alex sent me next to THIS text! Huh? Huh? HA HA HA THAT ELEPHANT PISSED HIMSELF HA HA HA AH HAH HA HAH HAH UH HUH HUH why are YOU laughing, freak? Ho ho ha ha ha! Now, unlike me, my parents are total pros. Gene, please tell me you weren't laughing just now. Gene so help me I swear Oh, he was, I remember. Let's go see if you can get it right. I have some bad news, Gene, and i'm afraid that you'll have the wrong reaction. Ok, what's the wrong reaction? Anything other than meh. Come on! I don't want to be late! I'm not letting you go to work today. Wait, WHAT? You're just not ready, son. Come on!! Working in a cube is an Emoji's whole purpose in life! Everybody my age is working on the phone except for me! Oh sweetie, that's not true. Ow! YEAH! I'm going to work on the phone and I'm only ten! That's because I believe in you! Should we wash our hands? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! We're number two! We're number two! See? I, I know i'm different, ok? But, I need to... I can be meh... I just... Want to be a working emoji, you know, like... Everybody else... And then... I would finally fit in, you know? Ah, you fit in, honey. No I don't, mom. I never have. But I could change all that if you just let me! Just give me a chance! But what if you get sent out on the phone, making the wrong face? No dad, i'll make the right face! Look! Meh? The first third of the Bee Movie script lol (btw this school kinda mid but 4 stars for bee movie)"

"I am of course a seventh grader at the time of writing this review and these are my thoughts of this school. Your first day here may be very interesting. You smell the sweet scent of a Hawai'ian grill and think, oh that must be the lunch, wow maybe the school lunch is actually good here? It's not. It's the same as every other school but less options because they don't have a boiler or something. They have no recess at lunch after lunch and instead choose to combine them which is proven to be bad for learning. You have your standard math two years ahead of your grade which is fun to brag about but I just can't imagine actually learning math at my grade because that would be hell. I then go on to science, which was trash the first year with Dr. Duncan and I didn't learn anything, but now I did learn something with Dr. Garcia and so that's all fine and good. In social studies and ELA people like to talk a lot and the teacher gets mad which is sad and I wonder why it's only in those two classes. I also have a STEAM class where I can work on my science projects and also learn some extra science which was nice of them to put in. Now I move on to the children. I will not name who, but some are addicted to their Chromebooks in a way I would not have thought possible before going to this school. Some are also really loud and obnoxious and never realize why they get in trouble. Some like to sit in the bathroom at lunch and talk about who knows what. Some like to talk about how strong they are and they also tend to be in the obnoxious group. Some are just weird and pull the "actually" card way to often. Some break their computers and are generally disrespectful in the typical teenager way. These people also tend to be "goth"/"emo". Some children are good at art and math and they are pretty nice and generally good people except they talk about weird stuff sometimes. Despite some claims, the water is not lead, people only think that because they were testing for lead for a long time and said that we couldn't drink out of the fountains, and people thought that that was because there was lead not because they were testing for it. Anyway, now we can drink out of the water fountains. One problem is that we don't have a lot of funding because all the people here are rich apparently, and that means our learning environment and education should be trash. Sometimes our teachers have to buy supplies with their own money. PPS is generally a bad school district, extremely incompetent, and so is the state of Oregon in general. But we must live with it and this is not a review of the state of Oregon, or PPS, but stay tuned on my profile for a review of those. To wrap it up, water is not lead, children are not okay but not mean, has no funding, 5 stars I guess."

"Nice school, nice people, good teacher. Need more funding though."