Red Bank Regional High School 101 Ridge Road, Little Silver, NJ 07739

"Red Bank Regional High School has taught me many important lessons that I'll never be sure to forget. For instance, incompetence permeates even the highest ranks of society, and success is often the result of adversity. (Granted, said adversity was more-so the mediocrity of the institution, and not the rigor of the subjects.) While I was blessed with a few good teachers, the majority of them were English teachers who were increasingly stifled due to poor allocation of school resources. The food, if I dare call it that, consisted of pseudo-bread, slathered in what I could only assume was tomato sauce and recycled cheese. The caterers had the audacity to call this amalgamation of industrial refuse "pizza", while giving it a price tag more akin to a sit down meal. The so called "healthy" options consisted of prepackaged salads covered in equally unhealthy toppings, and both dining areas boast either an ice cream machine, a snack machine, or both. What fruit is available come at an outrageous markup to supermarket prices, while being only half the size, and of suspect freshness. The terrible food and uninspired classes stood in stark contrast to the gross excess thrown at the athletics department, which in my four years of attendance has seen the gymnasium floor redone, new lights put over the football field, and a second weight room constructed. The excessive policing of student movement during lunch and free period gave the impression of imprisonment, and the notion that a teacher reserves the right to deny a student the ability to use the restroom is cruel, unusual, and above all, not made to accommodate human beings. Humanity indeed, as despite the wealth of content within the literature our classes taught, such subjects were approached from a stance of standardization. Our interpretation of the works of Shakespeare hinged less on what we took from it, but rather which scantron bubble would return a correct response. Inspiration was snuffed out, and with the integration of yet more awful standardized testing, another flawed implement of measuring competence was introduced (because standardized testing has worked out so well in the past). External school buildings were retrofitted for the sake of the new PARCC standardized test, more academic time was wasted, and inspiration died at the hands of integration once more. At least once a year, the student body was also made to watch an assembly on the school's HIB (Harassment, Intimidation and Bullying) policy, which carried the cadence of a pre-school teacher reading a picture book to us, and was complete by a viewing of "A Little Respect" by Erasure. Yes, a music video about a man pleading with his lover was used as educational material on the nature of harassment and intimidation. Oscar Wilde was quoted as saying "Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life", to which this educational facility stands testament. It is a living, breathing parody of the American Education System. Academics take a backseat to athletics, hundreds of thousands of dollars are poured into redundant facilities while the food likely served as initiation into the decadent disaster that is the American Obesity Epidemic. Literature was rendered a binary of true and false, with the artistic mind succumbing to a venom more foul than that which was wielded by the mad Prince Hamlet. Education became less about retention and more about regurgitation, both figuratively and literally. This establishment has deprived me of four years of my life I will never get back, and never again, out of principle, will I step foot in such a place again."

"Had a good time here, can be a little crazy at times, but that's normal for any school. Had some really good teachers."

"i heard the t-shirt god went to tthis school so thats cool i guess"

"Hope to be apart of this school next year"

"Seems great hope I get in"