Subway

"Everts Subway website refuses to work on three different devices. Others never have this issue."

"The smells were heavenly, the food was heavenly and the service was heavenly. Best. Sandwiches. Ever."

"For two years I wandered, a purposeless migrant. I had no purpose, no direction, no northern star. But on June 9, 2017, all that changed. I, slicing my way through the metaphorical jungle of life's mystery, found myself in Evarts, Kentucky. Evarts is a small, humble town, tucked in the mountains of Appalachia. As I drove through the city, I felt a warmth in my core; a tingling in my fingertips. Something was drawing me closer. My misty eyes dried, clouds parted, and there it was: Subway. I knew where I was. I was home. In the blink of an eye, I was drawn back to 726 days prior, when I found myself in these same mountains. At the time, this Subway was new to me, I was a mere passerby looking for a bite to eat. It did not disappoint, in fact it exceeded all my dietary expectations. [YOU CAN READ ABOUT IT IN MY PREVIOUS REVIEW] I had found the golden goose, the treasure...I had found the holy grail. I knew I had walked back into a place where I was safe, where I would be taken care of. Last time I was timid, but this time I approached the counter with confidence. I knew I needed to have the same sandwich as before. "May I have a footlong Spicy Italian please?" My chef, Raj, began his craft, constructing a masterpiece of culinary creativity. His partner, Riya, applied the finishing touches. As her name translates to "singer," she fittingly orchestrated a harmonic symphony destined for my pleasure. I humbly accepted the gift of sustenance from the two, in awe of their deft handling of my meal. I sat down, eager to give my body its first true meal in far too long. I took a bite, and I felt a deluge of peace, an ethereal flash, a call to deeper reflection, and a motivation to heal the wounds of the world, exacerbated by political and social strife. I did not come alone. I brought disciples, understandably skeptical of the supernatural qualities of this restaurant. As they each began eating, one by one they approached me. They expressed wonder at the Subway's constancy. No one was unsatisfied. All were healed, all were showed the glory beneath the green and yellow wax paper. All intend to return. This Subway, while humble, is powerful. Behind a cheap and unassuming facade is a forceful proponent of benevolence. Beneath the rays of its eminence, one sees with a clairvoyance only attainable by sipping the sweet nectar of truth and understanding from an immaculate vessel such as only this Subway can provide. I am heading into the armed forces soon. My future, while I am optimistic, is unknown. There are dark forces that swirl about the earth, seeking to bring destruction and doom. I am leaving to fight for my family, my friends, my loved ones, but overall, I am leaving to fight for tranquility and happiness. This Subway encapsulates all that I seek to defend; all that is good in the world. Whereas I originally found this establishment as proof of God's existence, I know now in my innermost core that this Subway is proof that God wishes to be with us. When one cannot find a chapel of their specific denomination, one can find solace in the healing odors from the golden crust of the breads from the Evarts Kentucky Subway."

"There comes a time in a man's life when he needs to eat. Typically this time comes three times a day. The time came for me at around 12:23 pm. This was to be my second meal of the day, and with my first meal under-performing, I was a little apprehensive at the thought of a pleasurable dining experience. I approached this Subway with few expectations. After all, this is a Subway. While it is a fine chain filled with equally fine establishments, the fact that it is a chain restaurant is ordinarily a sign that it will not be food of the greatest quality, the building will be enough to sit down in, and the staff will be polite enough to not annoy you the customer. With all this in mind, I approached the restaurant. As soon as I walked in, I immediately felt something within myself similar to that something you feel when you walk into your bedroom on your wedding night. It was an excitement nothing less than sexual. This Subway was the most attractive I've ever seen. A perfectly air- conditioned space, spotless floors, chairs, and tables, fresh bread smells, lounge chairs, and light ambient music made for an extremely erotic first encounter. I immediately knew that this was going to be a dining experience like non other before or after. Confidently, I approached the counter and ordered my favorite sandwich: a Spicy Italian. The sandwich was cooked to absolute perfection. The bread to meat ratio was spot- on, the condiments were evenly distributed, and the beverage had enough carbonation to smacker your lips, but not so much that it foams over your mouth as if you had rabies. I ate my sandwich (a footlong) in approximately 20 bites, finishing it with what can only be described as a foodgasm, leaving me with a food baby (good food supplants the laws of biology). I end all trips to a restaurant with a trip to the men's room, and I was excited to visit the one part of the beautiful Subway I had not seen. Upon walking in I was blown away. It was so simple, but it was so nice. My fecal matter must have been happy knowing that they were expelled in such a pristine environment. The bathroom capped off the best culinary excursion of my entire life. People, this Subway will change your life. This Subway is proof that God exists. If food could cure cancer, it would be this Subway's sandwiches. I wouldn't bat an eye if someone told me they lost their virginity in this Subway. When the time comes where you need to eat, I implore you, eat at this Subway. I will not eat at Subway again, because the perfection I masticated can never be replaced or duplicated. This is the first Subway where "Eat Fresh" was perfectly executed, and I would give my left nut to have it moved to my hometown Chicago."

"First off, when you think of subway where I'm from in the Chicago land area, they are nothing special, but let me tell you, when I walked into the subway in evarts Kentucky, a random subway in the middle of bumf@@k nowhere, it was like walking through the shinning gates of shangri la. I was immediately blasted by the amazing smells of freshness. Everything shined, everything shimmered, even the bathroom. Ever ingredient on my foot long spicy Italian was perfect, the whole sandwich while it went down the line looked as delectable as it tasted when I finally sat down to eat it. Toasted to perfection, ingredients evenly laid out, perfect amount of sauce. It was like going to flavor town for the first time. Never in my life will I ever have a better sandwich from subway....EVER. This is by far the best subway in the United States. Harlan special sauce for life. If you don't like this subway you don't appreciate the fine art of sub sandwiches...... America!"